Our Basic Needs and Human Connection

I had a great lunch yesterday with my mentor.  Awesome conversation. One of those really refreshing conversations that you haven’t had in a while that remind you of times in your life that you were on top of the world.  Really made me think about how people operate and how much self-awareness and clarity it actually takes to know when you are ‘on’ and when you are ‘off.’  To know exactly what you need to do to get back to the same state of mind I believe is a real gift.

I thought I should forward this image he sent me about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  It is really cool to see and understand that people operate out of these basic necessities.  By knowing each level and being aware of them in your own self, I think it can give you a great advantage when it comes to dealing with people.

He mentioned how he noticed that from the day we met last summer in Edmonton he knew right away that someone would have to be a ‘real dick to piss me off’ because I can get along with everybody.  I felt he was right on.  I have been able to get along with all sorts of people.  What I didn’t realize was that after looking at the graph, I have been using this hierarchy of needs automatically … subconsciously.  He believed it is a serious edge to have this understanding and I am convinced of it as well.

To be able to connect to people at their own level is an important endeavor. Although I don’t suggest calling them out on what level they are at because none of them are right or wrong, it’s just a stage in life they are at and they will always be progressing and growing, learning on their own terms.

The main point about this is that when you are aware of what your own needs are and begin to fulfill them, that is to say when you can work on the inner (ie. on yourself) first, then you can give outward.  Too many of us put so many other people’s needs in front of ours like our kids, family, friends, business partners, and it is very selfless and altruistic.  It reminds me of a song where the lead singer screams, “Please forgive me, I’m no martyr!”  And you shouldn’t be either. Stop trying to be a martyr!

If you don’t take care of ‘me’ first, if I don’t take care of Oliver first, I can’t be fully there or be the best I can be for those around me.  After all, whether you know it or not we make an impact on every encounter we make on a daily basis. Why not make it count for something more?

Every thought, every word, and every action will make an impact.  I’ve found that the more aware I am of myself, the deeper I can connect with people because I can recognize parts of myself in them.  Look at it. Think about it. It’s true.

If more and more people can begin to connect like this and see themselves in other people, would people be such assholes to each other anymore?  I believe it would be less and less as we evolve.

So check out the chart.  Last time I saw it was in high school.  I know where I am on this chart. Do you?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

 

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