A Trail of Broken Dreams

For every goal realized, I’ve left a trail of dead dreams behind.
 
There has been nothing glamorous about the journey except for maybe the highlight reel (i.e. not real) of life that is Facebook.
 
Some examples:
  • I lost $3,000 in a pyramid scheme.
  • I closed down my first business.
  • I’ve had collection agencies calling me, gaslight always on, cell phone disconnected, and $20,000+ of credit card debt
  • I’ve had times with ZERO income for 6+ months.
  • I’ve lost and gained, re-lost and re-gained 15-20 lbs over the years and still struggle with it.
  • I’ve recorded 24 episodes of a podcast and quit.
  • I’ve fallen to my knees collapsed in tears countless times.
In the last 12 months:
  • I’ve spent up to 4 hours of complimentary coaching with 50+ people who did not hire me.
  • I’ve written 100+ articles that I will never publish.
  • I’ve recorded 20+ videos that you will never see.
  • I’ve buried a book I began almost two years ago because it’s not ‘perfect.’
  • I’ve wanted to give up more times than I can count.
  • I’ve gone weeks of zero action on growing my business because of insecurities, grief, and avoidance.
The question becomes...
 
Was it a waste?
 
Sometimes it feels like it.
 
It feels like I have thrown resources into a vacuum. Sometimes the work I do feels thankless, worthless, unrequited. Various moments of my life I have felt annihilated.
 
If I knew back then that ahead of me were all the experiences I listed above I would NOT have taken this journey.
100% no.
 
I would have thought “holy-mother-fucking-shit, that is horrendous/awful/scary/messed up…”
 
Yet, you know when people say “it’s about who you become?”
 
Yeah… that.
 
I have weathered storms. I have clawed my way back up. I have reinvented myself as many times as a snake sheds it’s skin.
 
If I look back and connect the dots, I see how each defeat was temporary and how each bloody wound birthed a new gift.
 
Today I work with people who inspire me. I write, record, share insights. I spend lots of time in self-care and self-growth. I can relax into chaos more than ever before.
 
Three-day work week, making money from what I’m GREAT at, supporting others to do the same, and witnessing my woman grow into her own power and gifts.
 
It’s like a fucking dream.
 
If there’s anything I’ve learned that is worth it’s weight in gold it’s this: don’t wait.
 
Do. Something.
 
I see people who are so so gifted avoid decision and execution in order to avoid some of the disasters I’ve listed above.
 
To them I say don’t wait.
 
Yes, you will miss out. Yes, it will cost you. Yes, there are consequences to one path vs the other.
 
You will hurt, you will cry, you will fail.
 
You too will leave a trail of dead dreams behind.
 
So has everyone else who has achieved something unique, interesting, and worthwhile.
 
Yet along your path you will discover true power, true possibility.
 
Want to be unconquerable? Want to rise to the level of your vision? Want to become more of who you truly are?
 
Quit waiting.
 
Begin.
 
Now.

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