I’m sure you’re familiar with the movie The Matrix. In it Neo is asked by Morpheus to choose the red pill or blue pill. The blue pill represents going back to a blissful state of ignorance and the red pill being the cold, hard truth about the reality of the world.  This movie is a powerful analogy and there are endless discussions online about how this story parallels reality.

Well, a few years ago I felt like Neo. After rediscovering a thirst for knowledge I began consuming whatever I got my hands on. The self-education gave me a high I had not known before. For the first time ever, I realized how little I knew about myself and about the world. My eyes were wide open.

While in university I was studying politics. My favourite professor at the time, who shall remain nameless, taught me something pretty valuable that I will never forget. He taught me that left-wing, right-wing, is all the same in the end. The same corporate and financial interests fund and support both sides of the political spectrum. I thought to myself, “what the fuck?”

Here I was taking politics thinking that this direction would actually lead me to helping change the world in a significant way when these ‘leaders’ are pretty much bought and sold. They have no long-term incentive to make a difference beyond their time in office. Even scarier is realizing that most of them have a desire to have power over others. Not cool.

This dose of truth left a bad taste in my mouth. I began to dig further.

I was faced with many questions that arose. Doing a simple google and youtube search can lead you to some important information to consider. Here’s where I started:

• Where does money come from?
• What is fractional reserve banking?
• What is government debt?
• Why is financial literacy not taught in school?
• Who funds political campaigns?
• Is taxation theft?
• What is a lobbyist?
• Does voting actually mean anything?
• What is non-aggression principle?

Some of you might be looking at me like I’m crazy. That’s fine. I respectfully suggest that you take a look and consider some of these and decide for yourself. I think it’s healthy to question everything.

When I started asking these questions I was revolted by what I discovered! Why weren’t we taught to question any of this when we were young? Why isn’t anyone else as pissed as I was!? Why is critical thinking lacking!?

How the hell is it that after years of evolution, expansion of knowledge and extension of humanity, there are still wars? I couldn’t understand the logic of what was happening around me. People are starving in the streets, the planet is being destroyed, we’re being lied to by our leaders and I was getting sick of it.

We’re supposed to be the caretakers of this planet. We should be working on extending humanity towards one another and not contributing to further segregation and feeling of separateness from each other.

It felt like there was this machine mass producing a herd mentality society that was completely dependent on some political leader for solutions. I thought it was completely ridiculous to believe that any one political leader could actually change anything. “People don’t really have a say,” I thought to myself.

It was as if there was this big secret society made up of some elite bankers who were the puppeteers dictating what happened at a global political and economical level and there was nothing we could do about it. If you search this stuff like I did, you could find a ton of people on the web who believe this is the case.

My perspective of the world was dim. This was a dark place to be in. “Everyone was asleep,” I felt. As if people just ignored or weren’t’ even paying attention. It was like I was the only one awake to the “matrix.” I could see this machinery pumping out sheep-like people… “sheeple”- who never questioned what the mainstream media told them. I was gonna have none of it!

So what did I do? I became obsessed. Every documentary, book, conversation became about this. I made it my job to wake people up.

Yes, I was that guy. As I look back I was pretty annoying.

Confrontational. Imposing my beliefs and ideas on other people. Getting into heated debates with my peers. Calling professors and classmates out on pointless rhetoric and demanding real answers. I became completely anti-establishment in my thinking.

What I slowly started to realize was that this anger began to suck my energy and that of others, dry. I was fuelled by such negative thoughts, words and emotions that it became the new lens through which I saw the world. I felt like I was carrying this huge burden on my shoulders as I tried to transform and change everyone in my presence.

Eventually I felt completely exhausted. I hit a brick wall. My attempts were futile. Who do I think I am thinking I can change people?

Then I came across the famous quote from Ghandi “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Such synchronous timing. I was getting so caught up with focusing on what angered me in the world that I never stopped and looked in the mirror. It’s me.

I can’t do anything about what’s ‘out there.’ I have no control over these faceless corporations and figure head leaders just like I can’t control the weather. I was wasting so much of my energy being angry that I wasn’t producing any type of result.

What I do have control over is my own mind. Freeing my self… of this enslavement to propaganda, old notions that don’t serve me. Growing myself, becoming self aware and confident in my own self. Finding ways to have a good life and be genuinely grateful and happy. Developing a network around me that was peaceful, beautiful, reciprocal and empathetic.

I found a new beginning.

To be continued…