Your woman wants a man, not a boy.

I say this because I too was once a boy-man/man-boy and I will forever be figuring this all out.

These insights come from the work I've done myself as well as from supporting the men and women who strive for power and possibility as individuals and in their relationships. 

That said, I present to you...

The 10 things your woman wants from you (and might not say or know she wants).

1) Presence

Just simply be with your woman. Listen to her and allow her to express herself. Even if it leads to breakdown. Even if she falls apart into a million pieces. It is not your job to fix her. She is not some project for your to put back together. Sure you may be working 12 hour days and only have an hour to spend with her. Kill the phone, drop distractions, be with her fully.

2) Do your work

Get in touch with your own emotions. Discover the strategies around vulnerability and fear you learned from childhood. How is it playing out in your life now? The greater awareness you create around these areas the more insight you’ll gain on how to be more open and giving for your woman.

3) Integrity

Do not give advice that you yourself don’t follow. It’s so easy to tell your woman she needs to go fix some problem in her life because it’s so clear for you. But if you’re not even living up to your own potential, power and purpose she will give zero fucks about what you have to say about her and how to live her life.

4) Ask for help

You thinking that you can get to your growth edge completely on your own is a gap that’s bigger than the grand canyon. Your woman will challenge you and try to break you. If you don’t have a strong enough stand she will not trust you. When you can admit fault, poor choices, she knows you to be honest. When you seek the support of other men, you are ever-growing. When you invest into yourself, you are saying to your woman and the world that you are worth it!

5) Satisfy your own needs

It is not your woman’s job to make you happy. It is not her job to make you fulfilled. It’s all on you. Go find out what’s missing in your life and give it to yourself. Don’t wait. Your woman wants a man who knows what they want and then goes and takes it. The more you hand off your sense of identity and satisfaction to your woman, the weaker you are to your woman. Trust me, she does not want to be your mommy.

6) Know what you want

Remember the time you knew you didn’t want to but got swayed by your woman? Remember how horrible that decision was? Listen to her, acknowledge her input, but ultimately choose what you know is right and true for you and the direction of your life.

7) Make some friends.

It’s enough pressure to be your lover, partner and companion. Your woman does not want to be your be all and end all. I know it sounds nice, but the pressure is crippling. You want someone to watch fights with, go bowling with, play chess with or whatever, there are 7 billion other people in the world who can do that with you. Don’t drag her around like a tag along and have her be everything to you. You need separate interests with separate people.

8) Have A Plan

If you don't, start making one. Women want men for their possibility. Most men reach their peak in their 50's so that means she is making a huge bet on you! Show her she can trust you with your money plan, career plan, family plan, and so on. You don't need a crystal ball, she just needs to see you working on it, figuring it out and stepping into your power.

9) Decide

Get her input but know what you want. Decide, have preferences and share what those preferences are. The more you sit on the fence, the more bored she gets and boredom in a romantic relationship is a serial killer.

10) Be Excellent

You don't need to be perfect. Perfect is unreachable and sets everyone up for failure and disappointment. You can however show up and be excellent and strive for excellence in all that you do. You know that guy you really strived to be in the very beginning? Charming, kind, generous, romantic, focused? Go be that guy through and through. Imagine she followed you all day every day, would she still want to be with you?

And boom!

Questions or comments let me know below. Subscribe if you enjoyed this post and want more!