“How does it feel to be half the man you could be?” My coach asked.

It was like choking on nails. I knew I could give more in my life and my work, but I didn’t. I had no idea why.

In school I hardly studied. My mentality was “How little could I get away with?” I’d wait until the very last minute and still do really well. I did this for years. No wonder I repeat this cycle in my career.

Then I shared this with someone who said, “Wow, you too!?”

Suddenly I no longer felt alone. Like I found my people! Piles of incomplete projects and messes were our common struggle. We constantly wonder what ‘could have been’ if we just gave it our all.

Actually, the more I open up about this, the more people I’ve found that admit the same thing. They too walk around this planet half the man or woman they could be. Half the power. Half the possibility. Half the results.

Half the life they could be living.

Sure shit gets done, but we procrastinate, hold back, and beat ourselves up for not being or doing more. We feel ‘lazy as fuck.’ No matter how much we accomplish we find ourselves feeling guilty, overwork ourselves, and eventually burnout.

Then I noticed something…

We consider ourselves lazy but others see us as busy, productive people. Many of the people I talk to are seen as high performers and overachievers to their peers, yet their inner voice says, “I’m still not giving my all.”

Then I noticed something else.

Their ‘slow’ is everyone else’s ‘fast.’ They’re second gear is MAX speed for their mortal counterparts! So instead of gearing up to third, or fourth, or fifth, they step off the gas pedal, and wait for everyone else to catch up.

I asked myself and many others why this is the case.

Here’s what I found…

It’s scary as fuck to go full out on your dreams. Scary. As fuck.

Somehow we learned that dimming our light helped us feel accepted and loved. We worry what people will think of us if we truly went ‘all out’ on our gifts and passions.

Maybe we’ll end up alone. Or maybe people will feel ‘less than’ because they’re not pursuing their dreams like we are.

And so, we stay small. And if we don’t do something about it… we die. Buried with our gift still inside us and tons of gas left in our tanks.

The work I do with people on this comes from the questions I asked myself with the support of my coach. It’s not about finding a solution or fixing it. It’s not a problem and no, we’re not broken.

It’s just something we do.

I’m interested in where it comes from and I invite you to do the same. When we get to the root of it and create a deeper level of awareness around it, we create a clearing for choice.

The question I ask is “What are you committed to really?”

Our results are simply a by-product of our commitments.

Think about it this way. If my result is, I hate my job but stay anyways, there is zero chance I am committed to fulfilment and joy in my work, no matter how much I like to think or say so.

When we apply the question “what am I committed to really?” we discover that, it’s likely I am actually committed to safety, security, and comfort. Staying at my shitty job matches my commitment.

To make a real change and quit the shitty job would throw everything sideways. Uncomfortable, dangerous, new. It doesn’t match my commitment.

Which brings us back to: “If you are living at 50% what are you committed to really?”

The answers are consistent across the board.

People in my coaching sessions first say “Holy shit!”

Then they say, “Wow. I’m actually committed to playing small, not being at my growth edge, staying safe. I’m committed to being comfortable, predictability, staying the same…” This goes on and on and on as the fog finally clears from their eyes.

This level of honesty and admission is profound.

Hey, I get it. I still catch myself doing it too. It takes a transformation in our commitments and consistent action to live at 100%. It means letting go of everything that ‘works’ and is safe.

When we declare the truth of our commitments and what we get out of being committed to them, we have something real to work with.

Find out what you’re really committed to and you’ll see how the results of your life are an exact match.

My suggestion: post your real commitment on the wall.

The one leading to all the predictable and safe results in your life. The one leaving you as 50% of who you could be.

It might look like “I get to stay small, play safe, and be like everyone else.”

For me it was “I don’t have to fully give of myself and let anyone fully in.”

Whatever it is post it up and read it daily. Look for it everywhere. Notice how it shows up and how you get it all over your life. When you do this it will literally crack your eyes open like it has for me and my clients.

Wake up!

Then, you get to choose.

I did. Today my life is writing, spending time with my love, practicing yoga, and being in conversation about power and possibility in exchange for money.

None of that could have fit inside my old commitments.