I was lonely in a sea of people. It was depressing and painful not being able to relate with others.
For a long time I followed the “go to school, get good grades, get a good job” life path to a T. Somehow I always resisted the notion that I needed to do 30 years of drudgery before I could “retire and enjoy life.”
With a little bit of digging around I saw this for what it was: a self-annihilating myth.
The first glimpse I had of an alternative life path was through the stories I read of other people. Explorers, inventors, artists, entrepreneurs. These people were my heroes. There was so much more to life than 9-5 drudgery.
Reading it in books but living in the soup of mediocrity made it hard. I was awake among zombies. I tried exposing these myths but my words fell on deaf ears.
Almost ten years later I’ve reached a point where it is actually my job to help people deconstruct their self-defeating myths.
Within ten minutes of a session with someone I can get an idea of what myths hold them back. I imagine that they tell themselves these stories 1000’s of times a day... 'cause that’s what I do. Spread that out over years and you can see how this is a problem.
Here are a few:
1) It takes money to make money
Money is a consequence of value creation. To chase the consequence is putting the cart before the horse. Focusing on money alone misses the whole process… the cause of money.
At 23 years old I busted this myth. I had four investment properties and used zero of my own money in it. I exchanged my expertise, time and energy to partner with investors who put their money into the deals.
If there’s a good deal, the money will come. Money is magnetized to value. Go add value. Help people, solve their problems, contribute to the quality of their lives through products and services and it will result in money.
2) The five day workweek
How come when it’s the day before a vacation, we can do 10 hours of work in 2 hours?
Google: parkinson’s law.
I worked in a shoe store once as a stock boy when I first learned this. I’d do a day’s work in half the time and my boss let me read or come up with stuff to do. He had no idea how to deal with me.
On the other hand self-employed people work way more than the 9-5. It’s 24/7 because the office is in your head!
My coach works three days a week. I’ve gone down from four days to three day workweeks now.
Anyone can create greater output with less input at their job or side-business and 2-10X their hourly rate. I literally now earn 15-30X more per hour than that old shoe store job.
If you haven’t already, go read: The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.
3) Easier said than done
Wrong!
Words have power.
Our words create our world.
The speech act of declaring is the beginning of creation. If we don’t declare it first, we have nothing to measure our actions against. We have no feedback loop telling us if we are in or out of integrity with ourselves.
For a long time before I became an entrepreneur, did my first deal, started a new venture, or whatever, I wrote it or said it first. I declared what it is I desired to create.
Most people are scared to even say what they want. That's their myth.
Make the promise, the commitment, say it out loud. Declare it.
Do it or don’t do it. And then own the consequences.
Without your word, you have nothing.
4) Have to's & musts
You don’t have to feed your children. You don’t have to go to work. You don’t have to get out of bed. There is no gun to your head forcing you to do it.
You CHOOSE to.
YOU choose it.
Crappy job? Your choice. Smoke? Your choice. Out of shape? Your choice.
The more you accept the myth that you ‘have to’ or ‘must do’ something, you officially have no free will. You have no choice. You have zero affect on your reality.
You are destined to photocopy the path you are in 30+ years into the future. There is nothing you or anyone can do about your life.
Deep down you know this. And if we’re not the one’s choosing, someone else is choosing for us. Hence all the dissatisfaction, restlessness and meaninglessness that pervades us.
Look around. Everything in your life is a result of your choices. Accept that and your ability to choose and you will have been given the keys to free yourself from your self-imposed cage.
Our ability to change our lives depends on how much choice we ascribe ourselves.
5) Later in life
This is one I still struggle with.
When I quit my job I can pursue my passion. I’ll take a vacation after the next deal. When I finally X then I can be/do/have what I really want.
Putting X between us and the thing we really want is a destructive myth.
Sure there might be more time, money and energy once X is achieved but living from a myth called ‘later in life’ will have us constantly pushing everything we want into the future.
There is no perfect moment. Recover, heal and grow along the way. Focus on process and practice over results and outcome.
The thing you want is available right now, it just might not look the way you expect it.
—
My Myth-Crushing Goddess
My love Janet Parsons committed to a service trip to Kenya when she literally had every excuse not to.
No money, no time, no energy, everything in between.
Yet she was so passionate about the healing power of yoga and had been dreaming of working with Africa Yoga Project for years. The perfect moment would never arrive, so she MADE it the perfect moment.
First she DECLARED it and committed to it even though she thought it was impossible (#3).
There would NEVER BE A RIGHT TIME (#5) yet she made the CHOICE to do it (#4).
In between having a life, a job, a relationship, she worked her ass off and accomplished more than she or anyone else anticipated. She did what some do in 6 months, in LESS THAN two months (#2).
She shared her passion for yoga, her story of healing, empowerment and transformation, auctioned off her paintings, connected people with amazing products and services, and so much more, all to raise the funds for her trip (#1).
She raised $5,500 CAD for the organization. She raised another $4,000+ for the rest of the costs of her trip.
At the time of this writing, she is helping the building/renovating of a deaf centre in Kenya and got to practice with 300 other yogis the other day. She's living her dream!
She is living proof that myths only have power over us if we let them.
She refused to let old myths dictate her life and has inspired so many people around her.
She continues to inspire me.
A new myth for power & possibility
In one path there is predictability. The other possibility. Living by everyone else’s myths or our own self defeating ones is predictable. It’s boring.
Here’s a new myth for you. One from love and possibility instead of fear and predictability…
I have the power to choose.
Living with integrity is the foundation to my possibility.
My words are powerful when I align it with action.
My daily practices create beauty, truth and love in the present moment.
By living and breathing my truth I am an example of what is possible to those around me.
I can create, explore, and share my gift as I heal, recover and grow.
There is no perfect moment. There is only what make of today.
This is my agenda...
For you to be, do and have what YOU want, not what everyone else wants for you.
Instead of annihilating ourselves with old myths, let’s build ourselves up, from the inside-out because the state of the world is the result of the state of the individual.
When we pick up the pen and write our own story, we become the hero.
Flashy tights and external underwear optional.