Do you ever feel overwhelmed with all the different projects on your plate? Or have so many to-do's you sometimes don't know where to start?
Whatever you're working on, I believe what makes the biggest difference of all is regaining a sense of clarity and direction. A powerful guest on my podcast, Dr. Jeff Spencer (former Olympian and Cornerman to the top 1% of world-class performers) says,
"When you see the path forward, anxiety drops."
This is why having regular check-ins with ourselves and asking the right questions is so powerful. Racing forward aimlessly without knowing what matters most in this particular stage of our life, career, or relationship, does not help.
It makes things worse! We're stressed, frustrated, and lost.
It is mission critical that we identify the most relevant and most impactful next step so we actually take the right step, not the wrong one!
Ask yourself the following questions and you will go from confused and overworked to purposeful and high performing in no time.
- What is the one thing I need to accomplish that by doing so will make everything else easier or unnecessary?
- Based on my one thing, what is currently missing?
- What am I doing too much of / what am I not doing enough of that is making things worse?
- What is the one major thing I need to say no to in order to take a progressive step forward?
- What is the one major thing I need to say yes to in order to take a progressive step forward?
Reduce your endless list of to-do's into the most critical few items that are most essential. Essential as in without them, you can take all the action you want but it won't make any real difference.
These questions are designed to do just that!
If you want to go from mere busyness and going through the motions to actually doing things that make an impact on your life, career, and relationships, it is a necessity to identify the key next steps.
That said, let's deconstruct the questions:
1. What is the one thing I need to accomplish (today/this week/this month) that by doing so will make everything else easier or unnecessary?
If you haven't read Gary Keller's The One Thing, I highly suggest you do. This is a question he developed and its all about reducing the clutter of our minds and getting to the single thing that we need to focus on next. Identifying 'the one thing' as he puts it, gets us back to what is most relevant, appropriate, and aligned with where we are on our path and where we want to go.
For example, this is why Google Maps gives you directions for what's next and not 10 minutes from now! So many of us get bogged down and worry about what's ten steps ahead instead of what is right in front of us.
The second half of the question is crucial.
"...that by doing so will make everything else easier..."
Something else I learned from Dr. Jeff Spencer's teachings is to do the most difficult thing which creates the same effect.
Either way, choosing the right 'one thing' and doing it, you end up feeling more confident, more energized or creating a ripple effect that makes everything else easier or less difficult.
"...or unnecessary"
We may have goals upon goals upon goals. I know I do. When we identify the one thing and accomplish it, the other possibility is that makes some of our previous goals old, irrelevant, or no longer appropriate for our path.
2. Based on my one thing, what is currently missing?
Most of us constantly look at what's wrong. It presupposes there's something wrong with me, them or it.
This is a poor choice of words and a horrible question. And with horrible questions, we get horrible answers.
Asking "what's wrong" leads our mind to conjure up answers like, "what's wrong is that you're not good enough... they don't care about you... the world is against you, etc."
As you can see, this inner dialogue makes us weak.
Instead, my coach Hans Phillips introduced me to the question, "what's missing?"
So much more powerful.
If we look at the intended outcome, our one thing, what is currently missing? This cuts straight to the core of what is currently not in our reality that we need to acknowledge, identify and be clear about.
Once we can name the people, places, or things that are missing, we can begin to create and identify the necessary steps to bring them forward.
3. What am I doing too much of / not enough of that is making things worse?
It's not enough to ask, "what am I doing that takes me further away from my goal?"
It doesn't ignite us into action. It doesn't have any emotional resonance.
When we use language like "how am I making things worse?" we wake ourselves up!
It's natural to want to avoid this question but this is the very question that brings us back to reality.
Obsessing over what we need to do without first addressing the very things that get in the way of us taking any powerful action is a waste of our valuable time and energy.
We must shine a light on areas we don't voluntarily want to shine a light on. We must dig deep into areas we don't want to dig and see some things we might be ashamed to see or ashamed to let others see.
I promise, by gaining visibility on the exact things you are doing or not doing to descend you into your worse life, you regain your power.
Again, Google Maps immediately says when you're going the wrong way. Make it incredibly visible how exactly you're making things worse and you generate a new trigger to wake you up and adjust!
4. What is the one thing I need to say NO to in order to take a progressive step forward?
After #3, we create a whole list of things to be aware of. Try not to beat yourself up. This is 100% normal and we all have a list as long or longer than yours. It's neither good or bad. It just is.
This question is an iteration of #1 but instead it helps us distill the most important one thing we need to say NO to. This means something to stop, let go of, pause, or put down. This could be an activity, behaviour, habit, language, anything. Anything that is leaking your time, intellect, and energy.
This is about reducing everything to their tiniest, most digestible component - one thing that we are realistically able to begin and begin now.
5. What is the one major thing I need to say YES to in order to take a progressive step forward?
This is just the reverse of #4. Identify the one thing to say yes to. The thing to start, begin, pick up, try on, take on, etc. so that you take a progressive step forward towards accomplishing your one thing.
Now, take action!
Awareness minus action is nearly bankrupt.
Ensure that you take what it is that you discover from these five questions and execute on it. Apply it in the world.
Only then will you know what adjustments to make next, see any result, or validate your idea. Only then will you move forward.
Do this regularly like once a week or once a month for each project or area of your life. You will be blown away by what you find out and what you're able to accomplish.
