Keep doing your unhealthy habits. Keep. Doing. Them.

I used to try to immediately eliminate negative habits. Literally out of nowhere they would show up again and I would have to restart. I’d feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed and feel even less than I did to begin with. It made me feel weak and disempowered.

So what worked for me was to keep doing the bad habits instead of obsessing over quitting.

Whatever the unhealthy habit is, smoking, drinking, overeating, etc. there is a reward in it. It may help us feel better, able to breath, relax or perhaps suppress negative emotions.

Without the reward/payoff you wouldn’t do them.

Keep in mind the cost. What is the price you’re paying to continue these habits? Emotional, mental, physical, financial, relational, etc.

Can you afford it?

As well, we identify with the bad habit as in “I AM a smoker” versus “I smoke cigarettes.”

Trying to quit or rid ourselves of a bad habit is almost like trying to destroy a part of our self.

Totally illogical for our ego which wants to survive and maintain what has worked for us in the past.

Forget about quitting for now. Start adding.

Add The Good Stuff

Continue as you normally would with your unhealthy habits and commit to adding ONE positive and healthy habit for two weeks only.

Make them more like experiments rather than a forever thing or life long decision.

Because let’s face it, we all zig and zag. We need to make room for the inevitable. Roll with the punches so to speak.

This ONE new habit could be drinking 3L of water, drinking a green drink, walking, running, exercise. I prefer beginning with something physical. Whatever it is, do it daily.

I started walking every morning when I was super overweight and unhealthy. Over a few weeks it turned to jogs. Then running. And so on.

Only focus on the next step. Focus on small wins. This one tiny thing per day is what you need to build your momentum towards something different in your life.

Build Up Your Self Worth

The biggest thing missing in most habit changing programs is self image and self worth. If we don’t value ourselves, our well being, our integrity, no new habit will stick and releasing negative habits will only be temporary.

Invest in your self knowledge. Create a better understanding of who you are, what you’re about, your values and what you want in life.

Perhaps journal, read self help books, listen to inspirational podcasts. Get a mentor, a coach, go on a retreat or attend a workshop.

I started loading up personal growth audios onto my iPod for my runs and workouts.

This ties in to the ADDING philosophy. Add value to yourself. Increase your self worth. When we feel we are worth more, we will feel we deserve more.

My coach Philip McKernan always says…

“We give ourselves what we feel we deserve.”

Can’t express it any better than that.

THE BY-PRODUCT & RESULT

Imagine a cup of coffee and pouring fresh water into that cup until it overflows. What happens? Slowly, there’s no more room for the coffee and all you have is a cup of water.

The byproduct of focusing on adding the one new habit at a time and increasing self worth is very similar. Soon there is no room or better yet, no reason, to go back to the old unhealthy habits.

Slowly you have transformed what you think about yourself, what you deserve, what you want, what you value and what you recognize as rewards.

Ten years ago my idea of a reward was getting wasted with my friends after a hard work week. Five years ago it was indulging in rich foods because I was focusing on strict nutrition 6 days a week. Last night I rewarded myself with a hot yoga class, dark chocolate and sleep.

My values went from avoidance and distraction with substances and food to the feelings of being energized, refreshed, clear and empowered.

Again this happens slowly. But the internal shift in values and self image is THE KEY when transforming habits.

Without it, you will only have false starts.

With it though, you will cultivate greater awareness, love and compassion for yourself. And when you start with the inner work, it will surely ripple outward to so many other areas of your life.

To get more out of your life, business and relationships, set up a free call with me today. I'd love to see how I can support you in your next big breakthrough.

Book a call today or email me at olivermanalese@me.com.